Getting engaged is one of life’s most exciting moments! One minute you’re living your regular life, and the next, you’re staring at a ring on your finger, feeling a rush of emotions from pure joy to “oh my goodness, where do I even start with wedding planning?”
If you’re reading this with a fresh engagement ring sparkling on your finger, congratulations! This moment marks the beginning of an incredible journey toward your dream wedding day. But let’s be honest – the excitement can quickly turn into overwhelm when you realize just how many decisions lie ahead.
Don’t worry, though. Wedding planning doesn’t have to feel chaotic or stressful. With the right approach and a clear roadmap, you can navigate this exciting season with confidence and joy. Let’s walk through exactly what to do when you first get engaged, so you can start building the day of your dreams with clarity and intention.
Take a Moment to Celebrate (Really, Do This!)
Before diving into wedding planning mode, pause and soak in this special moment. You just got engaged! This is a milestone worth celebrating, not rushing past.
Call your family and closest friends. Share the news. Take photos of your ring. Go out for a special dinner. Whatever feels right for you both, do it. These first moments of engagement are precious, and you’ll want to remember them clearly.
Many couples feel pressure to immediately start planning, but there’s no rush. Your engagement period is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured as a countdown to your wedding day.
Have “The Big Picture” Conversation
Once you’ve celebrated, it’s time for one of the most important conversations you’ll have during your engagement: discussing your vision for your wedding day.
Sit down together (maybe with some wine and your favorite takeout) and talk through these key questions:
What kind of wedding do you both envision? Are you dreaming of an intimate gathering with just your closest family and friends, or do you want a big celebration with everyone you know? Maybe you’re somewhere in between?
What elements are most important to each of you? Perhaps one of you has always dreamed of a particular venue, while the other is most excited about the food and music. Understanding what matters most to each person helps you prioritize your budget and energy.
What’s your ideal timeline? Do you want a long engagement to plan everything perfectly, or are you eager to tie the knot sooner rather than later?
What traditions do you want to include? Discuss family traditions, cultural elements, or personal touches that feel important to both of you.
This conversation sets the foundation for all your future wedding planning decisions. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers right away – your vision might evolve as you start exploring options.
Determine Your Wedding Budget
Let’s talk money – because your budget will influence almost every other decision you make during wedding planning.
Start by figuring out what you can realistically afford to spend. Consider:
- What you can save between now and your wedding
- Any contributions from family (but don’t assume – have those conversations first)
- Whether you want to take on any debt for your wedding
Once you have a total number, research average wedding costs in your area. This helps you understand what’s realistic for your budget. Remember, there’s no “right” amount to spend on a wedding – only what’s right for your financial situation.
Consider allocating your budget across major categories:
- Venue and catering (typically 40-50% of your budget)
- Photography and videography (10-15%)
- Music and entertainment (8-10%)
- Flowers and decor (8-10%)
- Wedding attire (5-8%)
- Special touches and unique elements (5-10%)
Speaking of special touches, this is where services like live wedding painting come in. Many couples are discovering the joy of having their ceremony captured in real-time by a talented artist. It’s a way to create a lasting heirloom that captures not just how your wedding looked, but how it felt. These artistic memories become treasured pieces that couples display in their homes for years to come.
Choose Your Wedding Date and Season
Your wedding date affects everything from venue availability to vendor pricing to guest attendance. Here’s how to approach this important decision:
Consider the season. Each season has its perks and challenges. Spring and fall are popular (and often more expensive) because of the pleasant weather. Summer offers longer days but can be hot. Winter weddings often come with lower prices and cozy vibes.
Think about your guests. Are there major holidays, family events, or busy seasons in your social circle that might affect attendance?
Factor in your budget. Peak wedding season (typically May through October) often means higher prices for venues and vendors.
Consider vendor availability. Popular vendors book up quickly, especially for weekend dates during peak season.
Don’t feel pressured to choose immediately. Many venues and vendors book 12-18 months in advance, so you have time to make this decision thoughtfully.
Start Your Guest List (But Don’t Stress About Perfection)
Creating your guest list might feel overwhelming, but start with a rough draft. You don’t need exact numbers right away, but having a general idea helps with venue selection and budget planning.
Begin with three categories:
- Must-have guests (immediate family, closest friends)
- Would-love-to-have guests (extended family, work friends, acquaintances)
- Nice-to-have guests (distant relatives, plus-ones you’re unsure about)
Your venue capacity and budget will ultimately determine your final numbers, so don’t worry about cutting people at this stage. This exercise simply helps you understand the scale of celebration you’re envisioning.
Research and Visit Venues
Your venue often sets the tone for your entire wedding, so take time to explore your options. Start by researching venues that fit your style, guest count, and budget.
When visiting venues, ask about:
- What’s included in their packages
- Vendor restrictions or preferred vendor lists
- Setup and cleanup policies
- Backup plans for outdoor spaces
- Payment schedules and cancellation policies
Don’t feel pressured to book the first venue you love. Visit several options to get a feel for what’s available and what resonates with you both.
Begin Building Your Vendor Team
Once you have your date and venue secured, you can start reaching out to other vendors. Prioritize booking vendors who have limited availability first, such as:
Photographers and videographers – These professionals often book the furthest in advance, especially the most sought-after ones.
Musicians or DJs – Popular entertainment books up quickly, particularly for peak season dates.
Specialty services – Unique vendors like live wedding painters, specialty florists, or custom cake designers often have limited availability.
When you’re considering a live wedding painter, look for someone who understands your vision and can capture the essence of your day. The right artist will work seamlessly with your other vendors and create a painting that reflects your personal style and the emotions of your ceremony.
Create Your Wedding Planning Timeline
Having a timeline keeps you organized and ensures you don’t miss important deadlines. Work backward from your wedding date to create monthly milestones.
12+ months before:
- Book venue and major vendors
- Order wedding dress
- Send save-the-dates
6-8 months before:
- Send invitations
- Plan menu and tastings
- Order flowers
- Book transportation
2-3 months before:
- Finalize guest count
- Confirm details with all vendors
- Plan rehearsal dinner
1 month before:
- Final dress fitting
- Create day-of timeline
- Confirm all final details
This timeline isn’t set in stone – adjust it based on your specific needs and wedding date.
Consider What Makes Your Wedding Uniquely Yours
While planning logistics, don’t forget to think about what will make your wedding feel authentically you. This might include:
- Personal vows that reflect your love story
- Family traditions or cultural elements
- Unique entertainment or interactive experiences
- Special ways to honor loved ones who can’t be there
- Artistic elements that capture your day in a memorable way
Many couples are choosing to include live wedding painting as a way to create something truly special. Having an artist capture your ceremony as it happens creates a one-of-a-kind heirloom that holds the emotions and energy of your actual wedding day. It’s something you’ll treasure in your home for decades to come.
Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations
Wedding planning can bring out strong opinions from family and friends. Setting boundaries early helps protect your vision and your sanity.
Decide together how you’ll handle:
- Input from family members
- Guest list negotiations
- Budget discussions
- Vendor selection decisions
Remember, this is your wedding. While it’s wonderful to consider loved ones’ input, the final decisions should reflect what you both want for your special day.
Take Care of Yourselves During the Process
Wedding planning should enhance your relationship, not strain it. Make sure you’re taking care of yourselves and each other throughout the process.
Schedule regular check-ins to discuss how planning is going. If stress levels are rising, take a step back. Consider hiring a wedding planner or day-of coordinator if your budget allows – they can handle details and logistics, leaving you free to enjoy your engagement.
Remember to maintain your regular life and interests outside of wedding planning. Your relationship existed before this engagement, and it’s important to nurture all aspects of it.
Trust the Process
Finally, trust that everything will come together beautifully. Wedding planning involves countless decisions, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Focus on what matters most to you both, and remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment.
The perfect wedding isn’t about every detail being flawless – it’s about creating a day that feels authentically yours, surrounded by people who love and support you.
As you begin this exciting journey, remember that wedding planning is just the beginning. You’re not just planning a party; you’re creating the foundation for your married life together. Approach it with joy, patience, and excitement for all the beautiful moments ahead.
Your engagement is a special time in your lives. Embrace the planning process, enjoy the anticipation, and start building the day of your dreams with clarity and intention. Before you know it, you’ll be walking down the aisle toward your happily ever after.
Ready to add something truly special to your wedding day? Consider the timeless beauty of live wedding painting to capture your ceremony as it unfolds. Emily Casey of EMC Create specializes in creating heirloom artwork that preserves the emotions and magic of your special day. Based in Nashville but available for travel worldwide, Emily offers transparent pricing and a stress-free experience that lets you focus on what matters most – celebrating your love.
